I've never been one to think that violence was predominated by one gender or the other. However, growing up as a relatively oversensitive male in a family that suppported, encouraged, and basically wacked me over the head with strong "classic" gender roles, I feel that I can speak to perceptions of violence in such a setting and it is basically that men were expected to be violent to protect their families, kill food, or defend their honor while women were not expected to be violent at all, but rather to wait for the man to take care of that. It never sat well with me because I did not like killing animals for food and found the idea of "defending one's honor" to be ludicruous. The only time I thought I could commit violence was in protection of the people I love from real danger. However, I never felt that it was exclusively the domain of men. In fact, I fully expected my sister would be right there next to me fighting.
I guess the point I am getting at is that violence can sometimes be justified, but only ever in life/limb threatening situations of self defense and in those situations, I see no reason that women and men are not on equal footing. After all, the females of a number of species fight vehemently to protect their young. It never made sense to me that humans would be any different. Now, more to the point of the thread, I have seen both men and women abuse their children. Though my parents were not abusive, they were proponents of corporal punishment (spanking) and more often than not, it was my mom doing the spanking. In fact, I can't remember a time my dad physical spanked either my sister or I, though he yelled a whole lot and seemd to much more effectively use psychological punishment (threats of spanks, yelling, etc.) to intimidate. My mother was quick to spank and even as a child I could remeber it being out of anger and not a controlled, measured reponse intended to teach a lesson. No, the look in her eyes was clearly anger and it seemed she was fighting hard to restrain herselves from beating us. Now before anyone gets the wrong impression, I don't consider myself abused or think my parents were abusive. I disagree with almost all of their parenting tactics and would never spank my own child (if I had any). However, based on the reactions from my parents I never really though, despite what the gender role police were saying, that women were any less capable of violence (and unjustified violence at that) than men. It is the same as teachers and sex with students, it cuts both ways and defies simple gender-typing.
That's my own personal take on the situation. I have probably missed the point entirely. If so, the mods can feel free to delete or edit this.