Effects of not having privilege(Trigger Warning: Oppression)

The place to ask questions about the basic values of Atheism Plus, feminism and social justice.

Effects of not having privilege(Trigger Warning: Oppression)

Postby Catherine » Sat Sep 08, 2012 7:45 am

Edit: I have made a comments thread for those who want to show their support: http://atheismplus.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=801
Edit 2: Further Trigger warning to beware of skepticallyinclined's post

Thought I would make a thread where people can share their experiences of not having privilege:

Because I am transgendered I have never had a relationship
Because I am transgendered I had to give up my teaching Job
Because I am transgendered I face transphobic abuse from strangers

Because I am a woman my ideas are often ignored
Because I am a woman I face sexual harassment in the street
Because I am a woman I feel unsafe walking after dark

Because I am a lesbian I have to put up with being flirted at by the opposite sex when I never want it

Because I am dyspraxic I will never be able to drive
Because I am dyspraxic I frequently cut and bruise myself
Because I am dyspraxic I cannot run
Because I am dyspraxic I cannot play sports
Because I am dyspraxic I was considered stupid until the age of 10 as I couldn't handwrite correctly

Please add your own experiences if you wish to :)
Last edited by Catherine on Tue Sep 11, 2012 5:37 am, edited 4 times in total.
User avatar
Catherine
Global Moderator
 
Posts: 1347
Joined: Tue Aug 28, 2012 6:32 am
Location: London, United Kingdom

Re: Effects of not having privilege

Postby Kassiane » Sat Sep 08, 2012 8:23 am

Because I am autistic I will forget about 50zillion until after I post.
Because I am autistic a prof got away with bullying me out of class.
Because I am autistic the abuse I went through was not prosecuted.
Because I am autistic no one takes my ideas and thoughts seriously.
Because I am autistic I am considered incapable of speaking on my own life.
Because I am autistic other people find it appropriate to tell me how I feel.
Because I am autistic people talk to whoever is with me, rather than me.
Because I am autistic people talk about me like I am not even there.
Because I am autistic any and all communication difficulties are my fault.
Because I am autistic I am not seen as an adult.
Because I am autistic I cannot read most godsdamned written material without substantial self accomodating mechanisms.
Because I am autistic people don't see sensory access needs as legitimate.

Because I am epileptic I cannot safely go out in public alone.
Because I am epileptic I cannot safely go anywhere that does not explicitly make an access effort (flash photography etc)
Because I am epileptic I cannot drive.
Because I am epileptic I cannot scubadive or engage in other 'risky' activities.

Because I am both autistic and epileptic, steps taken to ensure my safety are dismissed as 'tantrums'.
I hate silence when it is a time for speaking-the original Kassiane, 9C
User avatar
Kassiane
 
Posts: 2173
Joined: Tue Aug 28, 2012 1:16 am
Location: PDX

Re: Effects of not having privilege

Postby Grimalkin » Sat Sep 08, 2012 3:10 pm

Because I am a woman I am discouraged from going into men's spaces over 'safety'
Because I am a woman I feel intrinsic fear being alone around men I don't know
Because I am a woman I am condescended to by men anytime I enter into their space
Because I am a woman I am expected to want to become pregnant by default
Because I am a woman I am making up everything else on this list

Because I am bisexual I am 'hot' and will totally have a threesome with you
Because I am bisexual I haven't made up my mind
Because I am bisexual my family's 'jokes' about gay people make me fear that I would not be accepted by them
Because I am bisexual people's tendency to react with disgust or cover themselves when they believe they're in the presence of a gay person makes me feel subhuman
Because I am bisexual none of this is legitimate because I'm not 'really' gay
Because I am bisexual and my first and possibly only relationship is with a guy, I am not bisexual anyways.

Because I have a psychological disorder* I have been subject to the evils of professional psychological 'help'
Because I have a psychological disorder people still tell me that I should recieve professional psychological help
Because I have a psychological disorder I had to switch from public school to homeschool in 10th grade
Because I have a psychological disorder I have to make up an excuse for why I switched to homeschool in 10th grade
Because I have a psychological disorder I was attacked by my sister because I have a psychological disorder
Because I have a psychological disorder it is nearly impossible for me to form meaningful relationships with people
Because I have a psychological disorder I doubt that the meaningful relationships I have are meaningful
Because I have a psychological disorder I exclude myself from doing things with other people
Because I have a psychological disorder I am commonly told that I could fix all of the aforementioned by just pulling myself up by my bootstraps

*- I don't have an actual diagnosis for this and I don't know what it falls under, but I have a weird mix of major social anxiety, paranoia about people and social situations, and paranoia in general. I am diagnosed with depression, but it doesn't create nearly as much harm as the other things do.

EDIT to add Atheism and intersectionality:

Because I am an Atheist my sister has attacked me for being an Atheist
Because I am an Atheist I am rebelling against God
Because I am an Atheist I am told to pretend that I'm not an Atheist
Because I am an Atheist I am forced into discussing philosophy even after explicitly stating that I don't want to discuss philosophy

Because I am an Atheist AND have a psychological disorder I am afraid to come out as bisexual because I might throw myself into the "Rebellious" category.
Because I have a psychological disorder, that is why I am bisexual.
Because I am bisexual and have a psychological disorder and am an Atheist, I feel like a stereotype of all three.
Last edited by Grimalkin on Mon Sep 10, 2012 4:11 am, edited 1 time in total.
If you don't stir shit, it settles on the people at the bottom.
he pronouns plz
User avatar
Grimalkin
 
Posts: 2395
Joined: Mon Aug 27, 2012 11:36 pm
Location: Probably my desk chair

Re: Effects of not having privilege

Postby Catherine » Sat Sep 08, 2012 6:59 pm

Thanks ladies that's got the ball rolling :) I hope others feel able to add their experiences to this too
User avatar
Catherine
Global Moderator
 
Posts: 1347
Joined: Tue Aug 28, 2012 6:32 am
Location: London, United Kingdom

Re: Effects of not having privilege

Postby Jadehawk » Sat Sep 08, 2012 7:46 pm

Because I am poor, my depression is considered an excuse for being lazy, not a serious mental illness
Because I am poor, I get judged for wanting to buy good, healthy food instead of cheep food
Because I am poor, I get judged for wanting to buy cheep food, instead of healthy food
Because I am poor, I am judged when I do something fun or relaxing instead of getting another job
Because I am poor, I will be excluded from a lot of community and activism, and blamed for not being committed enough
Jadehawk
 
Posts: 351
Joined: Mon Aug 27, 2012 10:15 pm

Re: Effects of not having privilege

Postby piegasm » Sat Sep 08, 2012 8:23 pm

Because I have a psychological disorder it is nearly impossible for me to form meaningful relationships with people
Because I have a psychological disorder I doubt that the meaningful relationships I have are meaningful
Because I have a psychological disorder I exclude myself from doing things with other people
Because I have a psychological disorder I am commonly told that I could fix all of the aforementioned by just pulling myself up by my bootstraps


This is all true for me but it's because I'm aneurotypical*. I don't commonly get told I should pull myself up by my bootstraps because there's really only one person on the planet who has the slightest inkling I'm not neurotypical but she tends to be dismissive when I try to explain how social interaction is challenging for me.

*I don't have an actual diagnosis and am pretty certain I'm not on the autism spectrum; I just know that I score quite high on autism inventories. Presumably this is a result of my parents being almost completely detached for reasons which are utterly incomprehensible to me.
People do not like to think. If one thinks, one must reach conclusions. Conclusions are not always pleasant. - Helen Keller
User avatar
piegasm
Global Moderator
 
Posts: 1170
Joined: Mon Aug 27, 2012 11:25 pm
Location: Rome, New York

Re: Effects of not having privilege

Postby simpleflower » Sat Sep 08, 2012 8:23 pm

Post removed by author
Last edited by simpleflower on Sun Sep 16, 2012 6:11 pm, edited 29 times in total.
User avatar
simpleflower
 
Posts: 1402
Joined: Tue Aug 28, 2012 11:59 pm

Re: Effects of not having privilege

Postby tiny » Sat Sep 08, 2012 9:02 pm

I have to change the wording a bit to express the results of my lack of privilege.

Because it is considered 'normal' and 'necessary' for humans to socialise IRL (and thus a privilege to just be able to do so), everybody feels that it's okay to tell me that I just have to 'practice' more - although 'practice' has only made my fear of people worse for the past, oh, nine years -; it's just impossible for someone to be a happy hermit.

Because it is considered 'normal' and 'necessary' for humans to (want to) be part of a biological f*mily, to find f*mily important and to put f*mily needs above personal wellbeing (and thus a privilege to have a f*mily who makes all this possible/bearable), people think it's okay to pressure me to 'forgive' my abuse and minimise and victim blame on top of that.

There are more things that are considered 'normal' and 'necessary' that I don't have/can't do, but I don't miss them and don't feel impaired, so I won't list them as lack of privilege.
Stay friendly, calm and self-reflecting.
User avatar
tiny
 
Posts: 62
Joined: Thu Aug 30, 2012 1:05 pm

Re: Effects of not having privilege

Postby Kassiane » Sat Sep 08, 2012 9:34 pm

Alyss wrote:Oh definitely:

Because I fall into one or more of these categories I will be expected to be excessively civil with people who have engaged in discrimination and/or bullying with me, rather than being allowed to vent frustration or anger regarding my experiences: I will be expected to keep a lock on any uncivil expression of emotions in reaction to being harmed by people within dominant groups


We all need to read this part again yes.

Because we are in marginalized groups we are expected to be polite and nice and kindly educatory at all times, even and especially in situations where we are scared or tired or overwhelmed.
I hate silence when it is a time for speaking-the original Kassiane, 9C
User avatar
Kassiane
 
Posts: 2173
Joined: Tue Aug 28, 2012 1:16 am
Location: PDX

Re: Effects of not having privilege

Postby simpleflower » Sat Sep 08, 2012 9:48 pm

Post removed by author
Last edited by simpleflower on Sun Sep 16, 2012 6:11 pm, edited 6 times in total.
User avatar
simpleflower
 
Posts: 1402
Joined: Tue Aug 28, 2012 11:59 pm

Re: Effects of not having privilege

Postby often_partisan » Sat Sep 08, 2012 10:07 pm

Because I am working class, I always have to fear that I'll be judged by people as not a member of the "respectable" working class, instead rather as one of "them", a member of the "underclass", as "feckless" etc, if I ever happen to be unemployed (which I was for a while, and I always feel like I have to justify myself by saying "oh, but it wasn't intentional, I was looking for a job, etc" lest I be judged as one of "them".)
The criticism of religion ends with the doctrine that man is the highest being for man, hence with the categorical imperative to overthrow all conditions in which man is a degraded, enslaved, neglected, contemptible being. ~ Karl Marx
often_partisan
 
Posts: 8
Joined: Sat Sep 08, 2012 7:58 pm

Re: Effects of not having privilege

Postby Ginny » Sat Sep 08, 2012 10:25 pm

Because I am a woman I avoid eye contact on the bus, for fear of inviting harassment.
Because I am a woman I usually modulate my speech, knowing that expressing myself as strongly as a man might I'm likely to be labeled a bitch.
Because I am a woman I am aware that my appearance is constantly being subjected to critique.

Because I am polyamorous any difficulties I have in my relationships are blamed on non-monogamy.
Because I am polyamorous people feel free to dismiss my marriage as not real or not legitimate.
Because I am polyamorous it is assumed I must have low self-esteem, to have married a man who isn't exclusive to me.
Because I am polyamorous I'm already thinking about whether a judge may someday rule my family unfit to raise our (as yet nonexistent) children.
User avatar
Ginny
Global Moderator
 
Posts: 374
Joined: Tue Aug 28, 2012 7:37 pm

Re: Effects of not having privilege

Postby Garnet » Sun Sep 09, 2012 12:58 am

Because I am obese, I am labeled as lazy.
Because I am obese, I am told that I have no discipline.
Because I am obese, I am considered to be stupid and stinky.
Because I am obese, I am simultaneously the most visible and the most invisible person anywhere.
Because I am obese, I am verbally abused, taunted and bulled, often times by complete strangers.
Because I am obese, I have been repeatedly sexually harassed because "fat girls are easy."
Because I am obese, I have been told that I should just die so normal people don't have to look at me.
Because I am obese, I am the "Fat Friend" and the "Last Choice."
Because I am obese, it is culturally acceptable to denigrate and marginalize me based solely on my appearance.
Because I am obese, I am of little worth except as a convenient target.
User avatar
Garnet
 
Posts: 91
Joined: Mon Sep 03, 2012 3:10 pm

Re: Effects of not having privilege

Postby Mocha » Sun Sep 09, 2012 3:18 am

Sorry for the wall of text!

Because I am a woman I have constantly and actively discouraged from the STEM fields
Because I am a woman I have been told that I am only where I am in my field because I slept my way there
Because I am a woman I have been told that I am only where I am in my field because they're only padding the numbers
Because I am a woman I have to make many choices regarding my safety, such as not going out at certain times and a buddy system
Because I am a woman I can expect to be paid less than my male peers for doing the same job
Because I am a woman I expected to shrug off sexual harassment and assault, because having your male lab partner grope you during lab is so hilarious and he totes is an awesome guy and why are you freaking out?

Because I am a person with chronic depression my family will dismiss my feelings and experience and chalk it up to "not enough meds"
Because I am a person with chronic depression I have been threatened with being forcibly institutionalized

Because I am a survivor of abuse and assault I don't feel safe going to comedy clubs
Because I am a survivor of abuse and assault I have my feelings and experiences dismissed, even in discussions about abuse and assault
Because I am a survivor of abuse and assault I get called broken and damaged goods
Because I am a survivor of abuse and assault I get blamed for what happened to me

Because I am disabled I have to fight and over come barriers to get basic accommodations that I need to stay alive, partially because other people try to get these accommodations when they don't need them, partially because "it can't be that bad" and I must not really need them
Because I am disabled I am told that I deserve my disabilities, because I angered some god somewhere or I obviously did something terrible to my body
Because I am disabled other people tell me they know my condition better than I do and won't let me treat in the way that is working best for me
Because I am disabled other people tell me they would rather die than be me
Because I am disabled other people try to deny me things that keep me alive and out of hospitals
Because I am disabled other people have taken my food, from my hands, and thrown it on the floor, because I'm "not eating what will cure me", even though there are no cures
Because I am disabled teachers have told me to my face that they want to flunk me but can't because I have ADA protections
Because I am disabled people try to forcibly remove my medical devices because they want to see them
Because I am disabled I'm told my SO is a saint for being with me, and that he's probably doing it because it makes him look moral, not because he loves me or anything
Because I am disabled I'm often tired from staying up all night to deal with a medical crisis
Because I am disabled I have the pleasure of fighting insurance companies when they suddenly decide to mess with my prescriptions and coverage
Because I am disabled every time I go to the pharmacy, I get a "Oh...it's you again"
Because I am disabled I spend an incredible amount of time and energy and money I throw at the insurance companies and doctors and pharmacies just to stay alive
Because I am disabled I often have to fight to make a doctor believe I should be allowed to have children and keep them
Because I am disabled I'm never sure if people are denying me something because I don't deserve it or if they are doing it because I'm disabled
Because I am disabled I have a hard time with fashion--there is no good place to put medical devices, buttons are terrible when my hands are swollen, etc.
Because I am disabled I have the full time job of making millions of decisions to keep myself alive on top of doing everything else a "normal" person is supposed to do
Misfortune shows those who are not really friends.-Aristotle
User avatar
Mocha
 
Posts: 1222
Joined: Tue Aug 28, 2012 8:00 pm

Re: Effects of not having privilege

Postby Lovely » Sun Sep 09, 2012 4:00 am

(For personal reasons I have removed my contribution. If I'm able to find a way to delete this post, I'll do that instead so that this note won't have to be here.)
Last edited by Lovely on Mon Sep 10, 2012 10:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I look fresh to death.
User avatar
Lovely
Global Moderator
 
Posts: 2298
Joined: Tue Aug 28, 2012 1:15 am

Re: Effects of not having privilege

Postby Catherine » Sun Sep 09, 2012 7:12 am

Thanks for sharing everyone, I know how difficult it can be, got some more of my own to add:

Because I am trans I'll never have my own children
Because I am trans I am assumed to be into kink (not that I am saying there is anything wrong with kink just isn't my bag)
Because I am trans people assume they can ask about my genitalia
Because I am trans people have told me I still have male privilege and am thus more privileged than cis women
Because I am trans I will be called madam one minute and sir the next (really strange one is when guys spend a conversation staring at my tits then use male pronouns...)

Because I am a lesbian and not butch I am assumed to be heterosexual

Because I am a woman it is sometimes assumed my ideas are not my own
Because I am a woman I have to work twice as hard for the same recognition
User avatar
Catherine
Global Moderator
 
Posts: 1347
Joined: Tue Aug 28, 2012 6:32 am
Location: London, United Kingdom

Re: Effects of not having privilege

Postby Setar » Sun Sep 09, 2012 11:53 am

Because I have social anxiety, it is extremely hard for me to talk to people I don't know, let alone make friends
Because I have social anxiety, I find it almost impossible to fully trust anyone I consider 'friend'
Because I have social anxiety, I appear cold and distant, and people never talk to me
Because I have social anxiety, when someone I am conversing with is distracted by someone else, unless there's only 2-3 (maybe four) people other than me I will find myself completely ignored again
Because I have social anxiety, people will tell me that they have been talking to me because they are at that moment, even though they will become forever distracted in at most ten minutes
Because I have social anxiety, I can't even get up the courage to apply for a job, even though my current one is too sporadic for my needs
Because I have social anxiety, I do not know at all how to go about making my current job better fit my needs
Because I have social anxiety, I partially fail at my job because I hate talking to people I do not know on the phone
Because I have social anxiety, I have little to no ability to counteract the toxic masculinity, racism, sexism, homo- and transphobia that is rampant amongst my coworkers (some of which I was subjected to while writing this post)
Because I have social anxiety, I have a tendency to do grossly wrong things and hurt others when I socialize unchecked
Because I have social anxiety, I do not have the faintest clue how I would begin going about getting the help I need to check myself
Because I have social anxiety, I have a very hard time telling when my 'friends' are just using me for my stuff (mainly money-related because I am employed)
Because I have social anxiety, I cling to 'friends' who are abusing me because I have no one else
Because I have social anxiety, I have hurt people I care deeply about, and only can discern half the reason why
Because I have social anxiety, I am left alone (but for some people on the Internet who have proven themselves true friends) in a world where the required strength of one's personal safety net is growing
Because I have social anxiety, I have been locked into a state of semi-poverty, partially dependent on goodwill, partially dependent on my family
Because I have social anxiety, my amazing intellectual abilities have never been enough to put me up there with the Real Smart Amazing Kids™

Because I was "gifted", my family expected me to be an academic robot who would blindly soldier on through school, magically getting opportunities and becoming successful
Because I was "gifted", my mother taught me nothing but shame when I reacted in ways she did not like
Because I was "gifted", I was bullied and isolated in school
Because I was "gifted", the only reason I saw a psychologist or psychiatrist of any sort was for IQ testing, until the day I admitted myself to the hospital for suicidal ideation

Because of how my family treated me, I could not trust the therapist my mother took me to
Because of how my family treated me, I have never told them that I stopped seeing that therapist, even though I have not seen them for a year and a half

Because I am in semi-poverty, I cannot afford the psychiatric or therapeutic help I need to function properly, except through my abusive family
Because I am in semi-poverty, I have issues other than my anxiety that remain unknown

Because of my unknown issues, I constantly seem to misunderstand most people and come off as wrong
Because of my unknown issues, I feel like I am always disconnected in some way from whatever social group I am trying to participate in

Because of I don't fucking know what I must just be unlucky, even though I live in a "liberal" area I get homophobia and implied transphobia at work for my fucking hair being long. Seriously. Don't ask me why.

(To be continued...)
Last edited by Setar on Tue Sep 11, 2012 9:52 am, edited 1 time in total.
"...authoritarian followers feel empowered to isolate and segregate, to humiliate, to persecute, to beat, and to kill in the middle of the night, because in their heads they can almost hear the loudspeakers announcing, “Now batting for God’s team, his designated hitter, (their name).”" -Bob Altemeyer, The Authoritarians
pronouns: she
User avatar
Setar
 
Posts: 2783
Joined: Mon Aug 27, 2012 6:08 pm
Location: Unceded Kwantlen, Katzie, Matsqui & Semiahmoo land (Langley, British Columbia)

Re: Effects of not having privilege

Postby ischemgeek » Sun Sep 09, 2012 4:17 pm

Because I have a learning disability, it is assumed that I can't manage my own affairs without constant nagging and reminders.

Because I have a chronic illness, I have been discouraged from physical activity, even though physical activity within our limits is good for people with my chronic illness.
Because I have a chronic illness, I have been restricted from performing tasks that were within my ability at jobs illegally.
Because I have a chronic illness, I was ignored in gym class as a kid.
Because I have a chronic illness, going to the pharmacy is always a source of anxiety for me: Will my insurance cover them or will they randomly decide to deny them again, even though I've been on these medications for over a year in some cases and as much as all my life in others? When it is denied, I then have to pay out the nose for it (as these are life-saving medications; I could die without this stuff), fight for the better part of two weeks with them, and then submit my claim by mail and when they reimburse me, they do not reimburse me for any of the expenses for fighting their decision, so it can put me back the better part of $100. But if I don't fight it, I get put back by around $700/mo, so I can't not fight it.
Because I have an intermittent degree of disability (ranging from fully able-bodied to significantly disabled depending on how bad my breathing is), I am thought of as an inconsistent employee and as physically lazy if I show up to work when I'm flaring. If I don't show up to work when I'm flaring, I'm unreliable.
Because I have a chronic illness, people take it upon themselves to protect me from things I don't need protection from and 'desensitize' me to thing that are quite dangerous to me. They do this without consulting me about what's best for me because they assume that since they're currently able-bodied, they know more about healthy living than I do.

Because I have a chronic illness and a learning disbility, I have to spend $2000 a year on medication and medical supplies to keep myself functional. However, this is not taken into account on any financial assessments for assistance with school or medical costs, and instead when I complain about financial difficulties, I am given lectures on money management and frugality - because having a learning disability that makes attention regulation difficult obviously means you can't manage money.
Because I have a chronic illness and a learning disability, it is assumed that all my flares are the result of non-compliance by doctors who don't know me, so when I go to get the medication I need to address a flare, I often come away with a lecture instead. When this inevitably results in the flare getting worse, I am then blamed for non-compliance with my action plan, even though the doctor didn't give me the medication I needed to address the flare in the first place!

Because I don't get paid much, I sometimes have to choose between breathing and eating.
Because I don't get paid much, I am thought of as lazy, ungrateful, and degenerate despite working more hours in a week at harder and more dangerous work than those calling me lazy, ungrateful, and degenerate.

Because I am a woman, I have been discouraged from physical activity.
Because I am a woman, I have been restricted from performing tasks that were within my ability at jobs illegally.
Because I am a woman, I was ignored in gym class as a kid.
Because I am a woman, it is assumed that I am less competent than my male peers. Even when I'm the senior employee with better job performance and more experience.
Because I am a woman, I often see my ideas voiced by male employees and credited as their ideas - even though I brought it up earlier in conversation with the exact same wording and was brushed off.
Because I am a woman, natural functions of my reproductive system are treated as disgusting and shameful.
Because I am a woman, the validity of my emotions is always under question ("You're being over-sensitive." etc).
Because I am a woman, the validity of everything that I have achieved is always in doubt.
Because I am a woman, every bad thing that ever happens to me is considered to be my fault. If I am sexually assaulted, it is because I wasn't careful enough. If I am abused by my employer, it is because I didn't stand up for myself enough. And so on.

Because I am bisexual, people think I'm an attention-seeker.
Because I am bisexual, people assume I'm open to propositions by strangers.
Because I am bisexual, people assume I'm into any kink under the sun.
Because I am bisexual, people assume I'm into threesomes and like being offered them by complete strangers.

EDIT: Want to add support to this one:
Alyss wrote:Because I fall into one or more of these categories I will be expected to be excessively civil with people who have engaged in discrimination and/or bullying with me, rather than being allowed to vent frustration or anger regarding my experiences: I will be expected to keep a lock on any uncivil expression of emotions in reaction to being harmed by people within dominant groups


Also:
Because I am "gifted," it is assumed I'm faking my learning disability for drugs, laziness, or attention.
Because I am "gifted," it is assumed that any difficulty I have in any subject ever is due to laziness, not due to actual misunderstanding (yes, I'm very booksmart, but I can have difficulty with stuff, too! Case in point: Force fields were something I had huge problems with translating problem to math and back again mainly because I'm very visual and found it hard to visualize the problem, and I couldn't get help from profs because they thought I was too smart to really be having that much trouble with it - despite spending 30 hours a week on it for a whole semester, I never did get it in first year physics. It was third year before I had it click).
Because I am "gifted," I was bullied in school.
Because I am "gifted," my social difficulties in school were not addressed by anyone. It "comes with the territory," and they're "just jealous," after all. Any attempts to seek help were punished for tattleing.
Because I am "gifted," my pain over being bullied was minimalized ("it's not that bad!" and "won't you have the last laugh when you're successful and rich!"), and my desire to avoid further pain was met with ridicule ("You don't want to let them win, do you?")
Because I am "gifted," I was expected to act as old as I could talk. By grade 2, my vocabulary was on par with that of a grade 10 student. Because of this, my attempts to defend myself from bullying as best as I could figure out to with my emotional age were met with disproportionately severe punishment. Often, if I got into a fight, I as the victim was given a more severe punishment than my assailants. Because I should have been smart enough to figure out a non-violent way out of being jumped by a half-dozen other kids.

Because I have a chronic illness, I have to be more careful with certain activities because messing them up can harm me more than it can harm other people. Case in point: drinking. If someone without my illness inhales tea accidentally, they cough and splutter and are fine in ten minutes. Me? I might have an asthma flare that lays me up for three or four days.
Because I have a chronic illness, minor mishaps can impact me more than other people. When my microwave died in a cloud of electrical smoke, I was out of work for a week because of the asthma flareup the smoke inhalation caused.
Last edited by ischemgeek on Sun Sep 09, 2012 6:10 pm, edited 4 times in total.
Image description of profile picture: A red d20 shown rolled to "1", with the caption "This is how I roll... unfortunately."
User avatar
ischemgeek
Global Moderator
 
Posts: 5216
Joined: Wed Aug 29, 2012 4:45 pm

Re: Effects of not having privilege(Trigger Warning: Oppress

Postby Catherine » Sun Sep 09, 2012 4:53 pm

Wow thanks to everyone for sharing this is really getting rather emotional, have added a trigger warning.
User avatar
Catherine
Global Moderator
 
Posts: 1347
Joined: Tue Aug 28, 2012 6:32 am
Location: London, United Kingdom

Re: Effects of not having privilege(Trigger Warning: Oppress

Postby Jadehawk » Sun Sep 09, 2012 7:20 pm

For promoting understanding and enlightenment, will people please share "Because I am an atheist, _____" examples from your life, if you are comfortable doing so?

can do, if only a couple, since I've been pretty lucky so far

Because I'm an atheist, I will be assumed by strangers who find out about that to be an unethical person.
Because I'm an atheist, even social justice/sociology texts about microaggressions won't be able to define my (lack of) beliefs correctly and commit microaggressions against me*
Because I'm an atheist, many SJ spaces won't invite me to "share how your beliefs shape your view on social injustice" because it would be seen as disrespectful to others' beliefs.
Because I'm an atheist, I have no ready-made social network waiting for me whenever I move to a new town
Because I'm an atheist, even in places where I've lived for a long time, many opportunities (jobs, internships, learning opportunities, etc.) are unavailable to me because they're dispensed via the social networking that goes on in churches**

- - - - - - - - -
*Microaggressions and Marginality, an otherwise excellent book on microaggressions, defines "agnostic" as someone who believes in a higher power but isn't a member of a religion, and "atheist" as someone who denies the existence of a higher being. O.o
**boyfriend even asked me once if we could fake-join the local RCC, because he hadn't been able to get a job in his field due to nepotism and the old boys network filling all those jobs from within
Jadehawk
 
Posts: 351
Joined: Mon Aug 27, 2012 10:15 pm

Re: Effects of not having privilege(Trigger Warning: Oppress

Postby Kassiane » Sun Sep 09, 2012 7:43 pm

Because I am disabled, I find out the hard way that people who supposedly care about social justice don't actually care about people like me.
Because I am disabled, people aggressively pray for me.
Because I am disabled, those same people offer to exorcise my demons.
Because I am disabled, I've already had 3 exorcisms. (they didn't work)
Because I am disabled, I am assumed to be an atheist out of reactionary bitterness.

Because I am an atheist, I have to be very careful how I answer questions at work.
Because I am an atheist, people challenge my fitness to work with children.
Because I am an atheist, people try to convert me as a challenge.
Because I am an atheist, I could have gotten expelled from the high school my parents selected for me.
Because I am an atheist, I have to be able to defend my nonbelief against many belief systems.
I hate silence when it is a time for speaking-the original Kassiane, 9C
User avatar
Kassiane
 
Posts: 2173
Joined: Tue Aug 28, 2012 1:16 am
Location: PDX

Re: Effects of not having privilege(Trigger Warning: Oppress

Postby ischemgeek » Sun Sep 09, 2012 8:01 pm

Because I am a woman, the relapse of my chronic illness after it went into remission during my adolescence was chalked up to anxiety, Munchausen's syndrome, stress, depression, and hypochondria before it was correctly diagnosed by an ER doc who looked at my medical history and did a ventolin test and discovered that, shock and awe, this known asthmatic's pumonary function numbers doubled and her cough and shortness of breath resolved after three neb treatments! He later told me that he was astounded it had taken five months of severe asthma before someone clued into it because in someone with a history of asthma, "relapse" should be your first thought when they get 'bronchitis' that doesn't resolve after a cold and instead continues to get worse.

Because I am a woman, flares of my chronic illness are often attributed to a nonexistant mental illness if I seek emergency treatment because my presentation is outside the norm in that my pulmonary function numbers are normally much higher than average, so average numbers for me means I'm very sick. Obviously, "hysterical woman" is more likely than "slightly atypical presentation in someone known to have high PFTs and cough-variant asthma." */sarcasm*

Because I am an atheist, my bisexuality as a teenager was attributed to me rebelling against god.
Because my father is an atheist, people blamed my childhood severe asthma on his nonbelief - my illness was punishment for his apostacy.
Because I am an atheist, people think I have no basis for my ethics.
Because I am an atheist, people will conflate me with a Nazi ("Hitler was an atheist!" "No, he wasn't. He was openly Christian." "He was a secret atheist! No True Believer(tm) would do what he did, so he had to be an atheist!").

Because I am a woman who opposes sexism and the kyriarchy, people will attribute my atheism to me trying to escape God's Order.

Because I am a bisexual atheist, people in my old community would have supported my internment in a concentration camp, and often said as much to my face (as a note: If you start any social justice argument with, "Hitler wasn't wrong about everying," you fail at life. Good day.) when they didn't know that I was either bisexual or atheist.
Image description of profile picture: A red d20 shown rolled to "1", with the caption "This is how I roll... unfortunately."
User avatar
ischemgeek
Global Moderator
 
Posts: 5216
Joined: Wed Aug 29, 2012 4:45 pm

Re: Effects of not having privilege(Trigger Warning: Oppress

Postby Cipher » Mon Sep 10, 2012 6:59 am

Because I am a submissive woman, I was outright shamed by a feminist for being weak.
Because I am a submissive, I blamed and shamed myself for being abused as a child.
Because I am a submissive, I was targeted by a predator.
Because I am a submissive, I will never report either of my rapists, for fear that I will be dismissed because I must have liked it.
Because I am a submissive, telling people about my sex life - when I had one - led to concerned remarks based on the premise that there was something profoundly wrong with me.
Because I am a submissive, I believed for many years that I could not have a healthy relationship, because models for normative relationships could not apply to mine, and the only kinky relationships I encountered in media were portrayed as sick humor or violent abuse.
Because I am a submissive, I dismissed any concerns or warnings that I was being abused from vanilla friends, because I thought they didn't know enough about how my relationships were supposed to work to have a reasonable understanding of what constituted abuse. This turned out to be completely true. However, I desperately needed those warnings, because I was being abused.

Because I am an abuse survivor, I now believe that I cannot have a healthy relationship, because I have lost any ability to understand what that would even mean.
Because I am an abuse survivor, my ability to feel trust or affection feels broken.
Because I am an abuse survivor, I often lose touch with my own identity, and have to piece myself back together; people I love don't understand what that means, and dismiss me.
Because I am an abuse survivor, I am set apart from everyone I loved, and I have lost most of them because either I can't tell them or I tried and we can no longer relate.
Because I am an abuse survivor, I find myself shaking and sobbing in movie theaters while everyone around me is unaffected.
Because I am an abuse survivor, there are words and sentences so triggering for me to encounter that I can lose hours or even entire days; I can also expect shame for my weakness.
Because I am an abuse survivor, I have extreme reactions to being startled, for which I have been called "a danger to innocent people" and told that giving me advance warning before approaching from behind was "coddling."
Last edited by Cipher on Mon Sep 10, 2012 7:08 am, edited 1 time in total.
Oh, I may be on the side of the angels - but don't think for one second that I am one of them.
User avatar
Cipher
 
Posts: 1876
Joined: Mon Sep 03, 2012 7:14 pm

Re: Effects of not having privilege(Trigger Warning: Oppress

Postby Kassiane » Mon Sep 10, 2012 7:25 am

I have more.

Because I am biracial, people play "guess the ethnicity".
Because I am biracial, people expect me to find their slur combinations amusing.
Because I am biracial, people think it's ok to say that I am "not reaaaallly Asian to them"
Because I am biracial, people are offended that the above is not a compliment
Because I am biracial, I am an outsider in any ethnic community
Because I am biracial, I was assumed to be adopted regardless of which parent I was with.

Because I survived abuse, I am assumed to have brought it on myself
Because I survived abuse, people either assume I am the baddest ass around or they walk on eggshells
Because I survived abuse, jokes that are tremendously triggering are part of every day life.
Because I survived abuse, I cannot trust people who phenotypically resemble my abuser.
Because I survived abuse, I had to cut off my family for my own safety.
Because I survived abuse, doing the above makes me worse than the abusers in the eyes of many.
Because I survived abuse, I fear ever getting close enough to someone for them to hurt me.
Because I survived abuse, I live every day in fear.
I hate silence when it is a time for speaking-the original Kassiane, 9C
User avatar
Kassiane
 
Posts: 2173
Joined: Tue Aug 28, 2012 1:16 am
Location: PDX

Re: Effects of not having privilege(Trigger Warning: Oppress

Postby Cipher » Mon Sep 10, 2012 7:45 am

Because I am a woman, I can expect to be harassed if I walk on the street during the day.
Because I am a woman, I must be constantly on guard when I walk on the street or use public transit at night.*
Because I am a woman, I have been followed around by strangers and near-strangers who felt they were entitled to my attention while I tried to shop for groceries or take pictures.
Because I am a woman, I absorbed cultural messaging that I was not allowed to have boundaries, and men absorbed cultural messaging that they were entitled to invade my space and demand my time.
Because I am a woman, talking about raping me is considered an acceptable way to respond to dislike of me.
Because I am a woman, I was subjected to continual sexualization and harassment by customers when I worked retail, including everything from frequently repeated requests for dates to threats of kidnapping.
Because I am a woman, talking about this was considered by some to be bragging.
Because I am a woman, expressing powerful emotions is either cute or crazy.
Because I am a woman, I can expect my ideas and interests to be dismissed based on my perceived fuckability (whether too pretty and therefore brainless wank fodder, or too ugly and therefore worthless), and my anger to be a treated as a sign that I need to be fucked.

*Because I am poor and suffer from significant anxiety, these are my only options for transportation.
Oh, I may be on the side of the angels - but don't think for one second that I am one of them.
User avatar
Cipher
 
Posts: 1876
Joined: Mon Sep 03, 2012 7:14 pm

Next

Return to Information and answers

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 1 guest